Pen, Paper and A Love Note?
by Mika Yamichi
Summary: "You're a GIRL?""I do not STALK! I CREEP!""Wait,so Jashin is a more bad ,hotter version of Kami?""Your hair smells nice.""Did your mom date a shark?""Hi Zetsu.I mean Zetsus?"Yeah, I had fell hard. And all this happens because of a stupid dare. AU AkatsukiXOC


A/N Enjoy. Sorry for the shortness, but it's supposed to be an introduction.

And (yes I started a sentence with "and") the "creeping" skill/joke/description is from an old friend of mine's school. My old friend was a very _interesting_ person, and apparently so were her friends.

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Disclaimer: The day I own Naruto is when I own the song Sexy Back...*insert glare from Justin Timberlake*...which is _probably _never...Yes, the probably was a necessity. I also don't own Creeping. It rightfully belongs to some _interesting_ individuals.

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Before I began my ranting of how the universe seems to have it out for me, I would like to clarify that I do not stalk.

I, in no way, stalk people or any animated object, in anyway. Creeping is the term I prefer to use. So don't confuse my follow-and-learn-everything-about-you urges as stalking. For the record, creeping and stalking are two _entirely_ different things.

For example, creeping has steps. A procedure one must follow for every victim(s).

_ Step 1: Choose a victim. One that is older than you will be the most suitable (contrary to popular belief), because they usually believe that they run the school, and are untouchable._

Victim-I mean group one, the Akatsuki. Older. Check. Run the school. Double check. Untouchable; got that damn right.

_ Step 2: Figure out where the victim is, every minute of every day. This step is usually referred as "Stalking", but that is a different matter. _

Schedules. Professional Art, 7:05- 8:00. Philosophy, 8:10- 9:05. Mathematics, 9:15- 10:10 Lunch, 10:20-11:20. Media Productions, 11:30- 12:25. Life and Health Science, 12: 35- 1:30. History, 1:40- 1:35. Language Arts. 1:45- 2:40. Advanced Band, 2:50- 3:45. All Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.

Physical Education, 8:00- 8:55. Theater, 9:05- 10:00. Lunch, 10:10- 11:10. Career Selection, 11:20- 11:15. Assembly, 11:25- 12:25. Every Wednesdays.

I am proud to say, I have all that memorized. I know exactly where each member of the Akatsuki is every second of the day, every minute of the hour, and every day of the year.

_ Step 3: Choose a time that is convenient for you to resume normal life, but also gives ample time to the victim to recover. Remember, always bring protection! _

Note taken.

_ Step 4: This is crucial. Practice your smile; a cheesy smile will do. Now up that smile by a million. _

I don't like to brag, but-ah who am I kidding, I love to brag! I have the _most_ cheesiest smile in the whole entire world! It's even better than Naruto's. My blond friend just has that natural, warm-hearting smile. Psh, who needs that? Unlike him, I have that dopey smile that shines brightly from many years of pokey braces, and constant brushing and flossing.

_ Step 5: Find the victim (don't worry; if you can't find him/her, just wait outside the bathroom). _

Oh Kami, that was embarrassing. Don't ask, just don't.

_ Step 6: Turn on your smile. _

It was half-hearted. Hey, at least it was a smile!

_ Step 7: Tap them on the shoulder or whisper something strange/awkward (i.e., "You smell delicious", or "I like your backpack; it reminds me of my padded room"). Note: by this point, they should find out that something is amiss; they feel your hot breath on their neck. _

What was I thinking! "Your hair smells nice?" Not only that, I had to pass out after that.

_ Step 8: Wait for them to turn around, and open your eyes as wide as you can (while smiling)._

I _think_ I managed to do this step after I blacked out. Though, you can't blame me if I don't remember; I was after all about to faint.

_ Step 9: Whatever you do now is up to you._

That was the last step. This was where I wanted to rant about how the universe was out to get me, but I just can't think of what to say.

The Akatsuki. They were everything anyone wanted to be or wanted. After all they were popular, hot (or at least most of them were), smart, cool, rich, but entirely untouchable.

So why in Kami's heaven did I have to fall for every single one of them (besides Konan the only girl)? Oh yeah, because of that stupid dare and that stupid love note. Yeah, the universe had it in for me.

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A/N Voila, c'est fini. I managed to do this while cleaning, and eating popcorn with chopsticks.

Leave a review, please? Your reviews are like oil to my engine. Popcorn to my stomach. Pot of gold to my rainbo-well, I think you get the picture.


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